If your road to happiness involves impressing other people, STRAP UP because it’s going to be a long journey.
An endless journey, in fact…
Chasing happiness by impressing other people
For starters, people are too wrapped in their own lives to give you props for that awesome achievements.
It’s sad, but true.
Fellow author Matt Rudnitsky once told me: “Most people don’t give a crap about what you write. 94% of people ignore you, 5% thank you, and 1% spew irrational hatred so stupid that you can’t take it seriously. They have sticks up their butts.”
What’s more, many of us fall into the trap of trying to impress the people least likely to speak up – those that hurt us in the past.
Whether it’s the bigger boys who bullied us in school, the ex-girlfriend who broke our heart or the parents who never told us we were good enough, these people aren’t going to pop out of the dirt to say they accept us now.
If we’re doing things to try and impress them, we’re wasting our time.
Also, even when people do give you their approval, they can take it away in a split-second.
Maybe you consider yourself a ‘player’ because you’ve got a harem of girls on the go, or a successful rockstar because you sold a ton of records…
What happens when the girls decide they don’t like you anymore, or your record sales drop? Do you let your self-esteem drop with it?
Other people’s opinions are a highly unsustainable source of happiness.
Chasing happiness through achievements
You might think you’ll be happy when you reach 10,000 Instagram followers, bank a million pounds, reach 5% body fat, or (god forbid) have sex with 100 women.
It’ll never be enough…
You only have to look at celebrities, who seemingly had it all, that suffered from depression and killed themselves.
There will always be someone who is richer, has better abs or more Instagram followers.
Instead of being happy where you are, you’ll get used to it and find new people to compare yourself to.
What would I recommend instead?
Here’s a great start…
Decide what sort of person you want to be, then spend every single day living your life true to those values, rules and standards. Even if it’s scary. Even if other people think it’s dumb. Do that every day and feel this sense of pride within you ALL the time.
Consider it a mission to become the version of yourself. Even if you’re not there yet, being on that journey will be AMAZING for your self-esteem.
Also, teach yourself the beauty of the small moments that make you happy RIGHT NOW.
I’m talking about:
- when you’re with a group of your friends and one makes a hilarious joke;
- when you’re alone in your bedroom dancing to your favourite song;
- marvelling at new experiences;
- nailing a kick-flip or that riff on a guitar for the first time.
These are the moments when all your worries temporarily disappear and you’re filled with pure joy. You don’t need to be rich, successful, popular, good-looking. You don’t need to be ANYTHING, other than ALIVE.
A nudge in the right direction
If you’re struggling to build the confidence needed to live a life on your own terms, I’ve created a free download that will help
It’s called The ‘How To Be Fearless Masterclass’ and it contains all the best article advice and motivational videos I’ve seen about overcoming fear.
Click here to download it – and you’ll also get my friend Ciaran Callam’s e-book ‘5 Keys To Unstoppable Confidence’ thrown in for free.