Heartbreak Is A Blessing In Disguise

When your heart is broken, it can feel like there’s nothing worse.

Your head spins. Your insides feel empty. Your ability to experience happiness seemingly vanishes.

Studies have shown that heartbreak is physically painful — and it often appears as if there’s no way forward.

Still, I’m here to argue that this pain is the best sensation you can experience…

…in the long run, anyway.

When we hit rock bottom, the only way is up

I run a confidence coaching company for young men. We’ve created incredible transformations in our clients’ social lives.

We’ve helped guys lose their virginities in their late teens and early twenties. We’ve helped shy and anxious men enjoy polyamory. A divorced client came to us because he was overwhelmed by the nature of modern dating. He’d never used Tinder. He’d never heard of ‘ghosting’. Now, he’s overwhelmed with new women to date.

You get the idea…

These results might not be to everyone’s taste, but it’s fair to say they’re above what most ‘normal guys’ can achieve on their own.

Naturally, we’ve plastered our clients’ success stories all over social media — and there are few people who would turn down the opportunity to become more confident.

Yet, ‘normal guys’ — who can perhaps only arrange one date every few weeks — never come to us.

We only ever get enquiries from guys who have hit ‘rock bottom’.

The dudes who have been dumped, cheated on or turned down. The guys who are sick to death of being lonely. Our clients all seem to suffer heartbreak before they seek help.

Why do we wait until rock bottom?

The fact is: humans are inherently scared of change. We’re afraid to take risks.

Our brain’s primary function is to keep us comfortable. So, if we’re presented with an opportunity to grow that may prove slightly uncomfortable, our minds are flooded with excuses to avoid it.

It’s why so many of us stay in not-satisfying but not-terrible relationships. We know we’re not happy, but breaking up could feel even worse.

Humans will naturally do all we can to avoid physical or emotional pain, even if it’s at the expense of a better future. If our lives are going ‘kind of OK’, we don’t try to improve them.

It’s only when our heart is broken — and the pain of our current situation outweighs the potential pain of changing — that we tend to commit to making drastic transformations.

We’ll do anything to stop feeling heartbroken — and it’s usually only in this scenario that we push our lives beyond ‘kind of OK’ into ‘absolutely incredible’.

You see it in the media all the time….

Heartbreak often becomes the catalyst that fuels our personal growth.

And, once we get started, the growth feels so fulfilling.

So we keep going…

We become superior versions of ourselves — and ultimately end up in a better relationship as a result.


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My advice for heartbroken guys

There are plenty of ways to break your heart.

If you don’t suffer from romantic misfortune, maybe you’ll miss out on a professional opportunity. Perhaps you’ll be betrayed by a friend or family member, or lose someone/something you really loved.

After all, painful moments are unavoidable. Life is full of ups and downs. All good things do come to an end.

So, when your next low moment does arrive, I’d urge you to be sad. That’s the healthiest thing to do.

Cry. Mourn. Embrace the pain.

But afterwards, use that pain as a catalyst to grow stronger.

Your future self will thank you for it.

To learn how we help guys become more confident, check out 4 Weeks To Unstoppable Confidence


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